Current Name: Washed-Up, One-Hit-Wonder 80's Band Kajagoogoo

E-mail: What's "email?"

Status: Pathetically Hilarious or Hilariously Pathetic. We can't decide.

Where We're Living: The wayside rest-stop near exit 187 in Skokie

How We Spend Our Days: Wondering why we named our band "Kajagoogoo"

Hobbies and Interests: Humming our only hit song "Too Shy"(1983) in elevators and buses, hoping one of the passengers recognizes us.

Last 20 Years in a Nutshell: Living off of our meager royalty checks